Good Thoughts, Good Vibes
A tree lives by its roots. Change the roots and you change the tree. Change the trees and you change the forest. - Unknown
A friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day and it really resonated with me. Why? Because I have spent way too much time in the past trying to fit in with groups of people, or even just chasing after friendships that were going nowhere. Part of the issue, I think, is that I didn't grow up here in California, so I haven't had an established circle of friends that I keep in touch with on a regular basis. There are some here and there, but none of them know each other, so we don't all hang out in one big group. The second part of the issue is because I have simply outgrown people - not in a bad way or anything, but I overcame a path of self-destruction and the people involved in that whole scene. I'm now a more or less successful adult that values family, education, and my career above most things. A lot of the people I used to kick it with simply didn't have the same life path I did, and so as I moved on with my life I left them behind. This was only a few years ago - but since then, I've been stuck in an awkward sort of in-between place where I am a mixture of a boring adult with some ratchetness and goofy ways. The third piece to this is picking the wrong people to hang out with that are only looking for a "convenient" type of friendship or who only call me when they need something. The last part of the issue really comes down to my past lack of really putting in effort to do things with people. In a way, this is an extension of the first three pieces of the puzzle, but I have to take accountability where it's due. This is part of what motivates me to focus on "getting myself out there" this year - visiting places and doing things I've always wanted to do but always had an excuse not to. Forget the people whose friendship I have to chase down and go above and beyond the level of effort they are putting in. One thing I have learned to do (and do well) is walk away from the people who have drained my physical and mental energy trying to be accepted. I used to be self-conscious of doing things on my own out of fear of being perceived as a "loner" - do I care now, though? Not one bit. That's the cool thing about being an adult - I don't feel obligated to care about certain things anymore.